"All Runners Are Liars"
Global Running Day 2026
In 2007, Ann Mahlum founded an organization in Philadelphia called Back On My Feet to combat homelessness through the power of running, community support and essential employment and housing resources. Anne’s relationship with running began when she was 16 as it was her way of dealing with the unexpected situation of her dad’s struggle with a gambling addiction, which tore apart her family. While Anne could never find a way to help her dad, she found her own answers in the life lessons that surround running, such as taking things one step at a time and learning the value of being on difficult roads. 10 years later, Anne’s running had led her past a homeless shelter on 12th and Vine in Philadelphia where she began to develop a friendly, sarcastic rapport with some of the individuals staying there, who reminded her of her dad. During one morning run she realized that running could benefit them in the same way that it helped her and she felt in some way she could vicariously help her father by helping them. The organization had its first official run on July 3rd, 2007
In July of 2008, to celebrate their first anniversary, Anne & BOMF hosted a running festival in Philadelphia’s Fairmount Park. The highlight event was called “20in24” where teams of five, ran relay loops around the park [8.4 miles] over 24 hours, with the goal of each member running 4 times [20 loops altogether]. There was also a solo event the “Lone Ranger” where one runner did all 24 hours – with crew support camping out – and “Midnight Madness” a unique one-loop affair beginning at Midnight
This is when and where our story occurs
The track at Bally’s Gym had closed. I was running on my own now.
We had joined another gym, of course, and they had treadmills for me on days I wanted to do a run before biking, swimming, or weight training, but TMs are still kind of solitary.
“If you’re on the treadmill next to me; the answer is ‘Yes, we’re racing’” isn’t quite the same as huffing & puffing while sitting on someone’s shoulder, waiting for the perfect moment to slip past, or – conversely – pushing the pace to keep that person on your shoulder from getting around.
As I was pretty much the entire running community in my little town, I had no friends to train with, pace with, sort-of-race with.
I had created a virtual running club on Facebook, and joined an online running forum, but I was still missing that excitement of meeting up with people I knew and running together.
The online running forum people had a history of doing ‘meet-ups’ where a handful, or sometimes quite a crew would choose a race – usually a big-city marathon - and meet-up, some travelling from across the country.
It was suggested that a bunch of them from South Jersey and a friend of theirs who would come down from Boston would try this first-of-its-kind event in Philly, and I was welcome to join them.
The catch was: this was an all-girls affair.
Meeting up for the first time with four internet women, in a park at Midnight?
Um, that might not fly 100%. Let me make a call.
“Doe. We’re doing the Distance Run, right? Let’s do this. It will be cool!”
Doe’s on board, and with a familiar face in the mix, I have clearance.
All parties decided that the place to meet was Lloyd Hall on Boathouse Row at 11PM
After hopping over the bridge and parking on Eakins Oval, I threw my backpack over my shoulder and headed off the to meeting place. My buddy was still in Jersey, although almost to the Ben Franklin Bridge, so he would be along shortly.
I was lucky enough to have seen photos of these people I was about to meet, so I at least knew who to look for, and I found them successfully.
With the team assembled, we next proceeded to the Check-In table.
Suddenly, there was a weird buzz through the crowd.
“Bart is here”
“Bart? Really? Where?”
“Where’s Bart?”
We all kinda maneuvered to the table, which also happened be the direction this Bart chatter seemed to be directed.
“There he is!” one of the teammates noticed, as we were checking in and picking up our bibs.
“We should go over,” another of our girls said, “Maybe he’ll sign our bibs?”
Since I had no real objections, and wanting to keep everyone together, I followed along.
There was a slight, baldish man, in a Runner’s World polo shirt, surrounded by fans calling “Bart! Bart!” and he was, in fact signing people’s bibs. The bibs were black with white numbers, so he was signing the backs, which seemed sort of silly to me – they’re gonna get sweaty and smear, even with a Sharpie.
“So who IS this guy, anyway?” I asked, unwittingly shouting loud enough for the ‘esteemed’ Bart to hear me.
“Bart Yasso – Chief Running Officer at Runner’s World magazine. Pleased to meet you”
“That’s clever” I answered, “You make that up yourself, or did you inherit it?”
“I created the title if that’s what you mean, yes.”
“Ah. Sorry, I don’t read that one. Or any running magazines, really. They’re all pretty much garbage.”
“How do you expect to improve your marathon time, then?” he asked, incredulously.
“Oh, I don’t do marathons; a half is fine with me. Marathons take too long and fuck you up for days afterwards”
“Well, you’re not a real runner until you do a marathon, no matter how slow. Boston especially”
“It’s not a ‘slow’ thing. Just don’t have a desire to. I’ve done bunches of triathlons, and honestly, they’re more fun. Besides, I have a sub-40 minute 10K PR, so I’m pretty happy with that”
“I see,” he countered. I could tell he was getting flustered that not only did I not know who he was, I didn’t really care, either “Well, All Runners are Lairs, anyway. So have fun triathlon-ing”
“Thanks. I will” and I added “Have fun magazine-ing”
Fuck that guy.
“He accepted our invitation to ‘Drink Around the World’ after the Disney Marathon a few years ago, then ghosted & never showed up. So yeah, fuck that guy.”
So it's not just me, then? I kinda feel better now.
People have been telling me I was a dick for bashing him - as he's revered in some circles - but after that encounter I went back and read some of his stuff. I discovered that he was a hack writer who almost felt compelled in every piece to remind you why you should be reading what HE wrote for YOUR enlightenment.
Granted, writing about running is like dancing about architecture, and there are few who can do it well.
The only thing he's done that I enjoyed was the one he wrote about the Amish, but even then he had to interject his own little CV in there.
"Through the years, I may have changed, but that annual trip didn't. Even as I grew older and began traveling more often, even as I began my career as a marathoner, then a race director and, for the past 25 years, as an ambassador for long-distance running, serving as this magazine's chief running officer"
"All Runners are Liars"
"HEY! I never said that!"
“Well, Bart, I would say at least one of us is lying”
To be fair, he’s not THAT wrong --- We DO lie about everything
The mileage we ran in a particular day/week/month. How fast we went [or how slowly, if we’re trying to sandbag and make someone feel sorry for us]. What our PRs are.
But there are other things we lie about, too. Mostly to ourselves
“That doesn’t hurt”
“I’m not injured”
“It’s not THAT cold [hot/wet/snowy]”
“I like my running group”
“I like training alone”
“I don’t mind treadmills”
“Intervals are fun”
And so on
For Christmas 2021, I received a copy of I Hate Running and You Can Too: How to Get Started, Keep Going, and Make Sense of an Irrational Passion by Brendan Leonard
Each chapter break contains an inspirational quote from famous/renowned runners.
One of these quotes is “I often hear someone say ‘I'm not a real runner.’ We are all runners, some just run faster than others. I never met a fake runner.” — Bart Yasso
I’ve looked for the original source of that quote, and all I can find are posts that include “Bart Yasso once said …” but no link back to where or when he first said that.
None of them are older than 2009.
Do we think that after he dropped “All Runners are Liars” on me in 2008, he rethought that take, knowing there was a crowd of reverent followers around us who may reach out with “You should’ve heard what Bart said about us” and started promoting “No fake Runners” to get out ahead of whatever some little shit in Jersey might spread around?
As Editor of Runners World, he could insert “No fake Runners” wherever it made sense, and overwhelm “All Runners are Liars” by sheer Force of Will, plus Reach, plus Volume.
But I give myself way too much credit.
In 2022, after being challenged by other Runners (as well as by myself, thinking ‘maybe it didn’t really happen that way?’), I posted the WHOLE story I just shared above to a FB Group with some people who were there in 2008 and they confirmed that it went down just as I’d said
“Well, you’re not a real runner until you do a marathon, no matter how slow..."
So Usain Bolt and Sha'carri Richardson aren't really runners? Fuck that guy indeed!